Brad Wilkerson // COC Metro

What Constitutes "The Best"

This blog might be a little off the path of the norm for me but I think I need to address this issue.  First of all, I want every reader to understand, if you are preaching Jesus & Him crucified, buried and risen again and that salvation in found by putting your faith in Him (Ephesians 2:8-9) and his redemptive work then we are on the same team.  Yes, I know doctrine divides and doctrine is needed.  Without doctrine then false teachers can lead not only young believers but also long time followers of Christ astray.  I am all for doctrine only if it doesn't divide us in our message of Jesus and the joint work to reach our communities with His message.  At COC Metro, we have a saying, "We exist to make HIS name more famous."  Now to do that, we market our church not JESUS.  Jesus needs no marketing!  However, many times we must market HIS ministry to get folks in a post modern culture to show interest and walk into a worship service.  So, when you see the logo for COC on billboards, cars, newspaper ads or road signs, it is all a way to point people to a church that is preaching Jesus.

Now, most of you are probably on board with all of this but lets take it a bit farther.  If we are promoting HIM....making HIM famous (by the way that is our job: "If I be lifted up, I draw all men unto me.") then why are we promoting or marketing ourselves as THE BEST at anything.  The idea of marketing our church over other churches who are preaching the same message must make God look away.  None of us are THE BEST.  Even the mega church 20 miles or 100 miles away isn't THE BEST.  We should all just simply be followers of Christ who are doing OUR BEST to exalt Him and not us or our ministry.  

Key:  If you have to tell people you are THE BEST at anything, chances are, you're not!  

Now, here's the kicker.  I am guilty of this.  It's the competitive mindset when it comes to church planting or reaching a community.  Who are we doing it for.  US or HIM.  Are we trying to build a congregation of large numbers so people will look at us and say, "WOW, look what he / she / they did!" Or are we trying to impact a community in such a way that they would say, "WOW, look what HE did!"

So, God has rocked my world on this a bit in the past few weeks.  I am re-committed to move beyond our walls and understand, people don't have to come to COC or any other church on the 380 Corridor to be impacted by the love and message of Christ.  I can be Christ to people at Walgreens / 7-11 / Raphael's / Sonic and possibly never see those folks at COC on a Sunday.  

Bottom line:  Let us be THE BEST at promoting HIS KINGDOM....Not ours.  That's when His work will truly manifest itself.  Funny, that's exactly what He told us to do.

THE BEST.....Not me & not us.  Compared to HIM I / we have a long way to go!

Camp Time

Well it's here....the weeks we have all been waiting for.  This Friday, our Pre-Teens leave for Centri Kid camp in Sherman, TX and this coming Sunday night our Teens leave for Centrifuge camp in Glorietta, NM. Our pre-teens / teens and adult counselors & Pastors have worked hard to prepare for the weeks to come. Fundraisers have been done, scholarships have been given, prayer has been lifted up and all the camp fees and registration papers have been completed.  Now it's time....time for the moving of GOD.  I know what transpires in the next two weeks in the lives of our young people has the potential to ignite the flame of an incredible move of God in our church.  I am asking you to join me in prayer for the nearly 100 young people & adults that will be attending these camps.  May God change lives, call young people to ministry and ultimately add to HIS Kingdom.  Please be in prayer from now through July 2nd for each individual going to camp.  I look forward to hearing all the incredible stories upon their return.

Have a great week!

Man vs Wife Q & A Follow Up ~ Finale

So here is a response to some questions that didn't get addressed on Sunday, May 29th.  Hope the answers are a help.

Question:

As a parent, how do you support your child and their marriage when you know they are in a marriage that is unequally yoked. 

Answer:

Simple and blunt answer is they should have never gotten married if they were spiritually unequally yoked. However, now that they are, support your child with love & prayer and be the face of Christ to them.  Love and show the love of Christ not only to your child but his/her spouse and remember, you may be the only Jesus he/she will ever see.  PRAYER......lots of PRAYER!!!!

Question:

We've been together 15 years we have two children.  The whole 15 years have been hard. After the kids came it became more about raising them with both parents...rather than being married to each other. Now 15 years later we dont see eye to eye on anything and the truth is if we were not married I would not associate with him..we have just grown into two separate people.  Could we be holding on to a marriage God doesnt want us in? 

Answer:

My heart breaks for you and this situation.  Children can not and should never be the motivation for marriage.  Children and your relationship with them should come on the third shelf of relational priorities in your life.  Your relationship with God has to be first.  Question for you to think about, "Has your 15 years together been 15 years with Christ as the head of your home?  If not, there in could be the problem.  Maybe your have grown apart because you have no glue to hold you together....JESUS.  The Bible plainly states the reasons for divorcing your spouse and growing apart or not liking each other is not either one of them.  So, my challenge would be to examine your heart, ask God to change his heart and see if & when Christ is first place in both your lives if things change.  Hope that helped.  Tough question.

Question:

My wife and I do not currently pray together on a regular basis. We pray over our son each night, but not together. We have prayed together in the past but I stopped pushing for it because I felt that her heart was not in it. I understand and embrace the fact that as the man of the household I am called to be the spiritual leader, but on some level isn't it important that my family WANT to be spiritually lead for me to be successful in helping them connect with God? What can I do to help my wife connect with God if her heart does not seem to be committed to it? She has complained in the past about not feeling a connection with God, and I know that praying together each night would help her with that, but I can't force the issue.

Answer:

The best answer I can give on this question is to never stop trying to lead in a spiritual role in your families' life.  Pray for her to come around.  I know that sounds like a recorded answer but your prayers for her could actually cause her to connect with God more.  Also, I'd encourage both of you to get plugged into a community / life group at church to take her relationship with God farther.  Maybe through community / life groups she'll connect with other fellow believers and God.  Ask her if you can not pray with her but prayer over her....as in praying a blessing, protection and a covering over her as her husband.  Last, don't be critical of her or her lack of connection with God.  Be patient with her as Christ has been patient with all of us.  Stay faithful my brother, she'll come around....just let God change her....not you!

Question:

How do you raise your kids to think that divorce is not an option except under certain circumstances, when EVERYONE on the other side of the family is divorced?  

Answer:

This is really a two fold question.  It is really more about parenting but does pertain in some way to marriage.  I think the best example for our kids is not the extended family but simply MOM and DAD. You two stay together and teach your child what is right in the eyes of the Lord and he'll follow that example.  We have cultural influences all around us, including family, that tell us that anything God says is to not be taken seriously.  So, it will be all around your child growing up to choose a way contradicting to God's way.  Another thing to think about is the fact that it can also work in an opposite way for your child.  Example:  My parents are divorce therefore I know all the pain and heartbreak that brings to a child.  Come hell or high water, I have committed to Sarah that the "D" word doesn't exist in my dictionary.  In short, all things in life teach us what to do and what not to do.  Use that extended part of the other side of the family as a "What not to do" teaching moment in your child's life.

That is the last of the questions from the Man vs Wife series.  Hope this was a help to all of you that sent questions  in.  Have a great week and remember..... "My marriage will go beyond my greatest imagination when I focus on my responsibilities rather than my rights!"

 

 

Man vs Wife Q & A Follow Up

So here is a response to a couple of questions that didn't get addressed on Sunday, May 29th.  Hope the answers are a help.

Question:

I would like if maybe you could speak about men letting go of there mothers.

Answer:

We are told specifically in Genesis & Matthew 19:5 that a man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife so that the two can become one.  I believe the Bible clearly teaches that one cannot cleave to his wife unless he first leaves his father and mother.  Now, this doesn't mean that he actually leaves them in regards to abandoning them.  This means he transfers his priority of putting his wife and his live for her on a higher shelf of priority in his life.  I love my mom deeply but she is not the number one lady in my life.  I lean on my mom a lot for advice and encouragement but she is not the one I run to first.  I also know a lot of parents that live with their children due to financial issues or health issues. These are all touchy and individual situations.  Either way...he is to make his wife 1st place in his life and she is to make her husband first place.  I also can address one other thought in this area of questioning that asked, "Might it be harder to leave as a woman, in regards to leaving her daddy?"  I think this depends upon the father / daughter relationship.  For my wife, she loved her dad but they didn't have that deep father / daughter relationship.  It wasn't hard for her to leave and start her family but I can see where for others it might be.  I do believe this scripture address both parties in the institution of marriage.

 

Question:

Marriage should have good communication, but we all know that sometimes there are subjects that are not the easiest to talk to our spouce about because it will bring them pain, start and argument what ever. Examples might be : Infidelety, something the one may know about a family member, lack of money, or even something like I ran over the curb with the car ... There are a lot of subjects out there that should be discussed, but are not the easiest to know how to without making the situation worse. So how do you bring God in to the conversation so that the honesty can be there, without resorting back to the primal instinct of arguing and misunderstanding or even worse just stuffing the issue instead of sharing it because it seems like the easier way.

Answer:

God is a God of Truth and Grace.  Grace cannot be bestowed until Truth is first faced and embraced. Example:  true repentance requires facing the truth of the sin and then and only then can grace be applied.  Same is true in marriage.  HONESTY & OPEN COMMUNICATION is a must.  If you cannot be open and honest with your spouse then there is a deeper rooted situation there.  If you share open and honest things and one or the other walks out on the marriage....your marriage was shallow.  My relationship with Christ is deeper everyday because I allow him open & honest access into my heart. 

Hope that answered the question!!!

 

Have a great week....Brad

Man vs Wife Q & A Follow Up

Sunday was an incredible moment in time as The Holts and Sarah & I answered many of your questions from the stage.  Wow, what great and also hard questions to answer.  I had a blast as I know Sarah and The Holts did as well.

We were not able to get to every questions so I committed that over the next few weeks, I'd answer some of them via my blog.  So here goes:

Question:  

What if you discover something that is a real problem after you get married, something that would have caused you not to marry this person?

Answer:

I don't think we will never know everything about our spouse when we marry them.  I learn things about Sarah and she learns things about me everyday and we've been married going on 20 years.  If you find something in your spouses life that would have caused you not to marry them, I'd consider that pretty serious.  That issue, if not solved or figured out, will probably require professional counseling.  I do believe honesty is the best form of communication in a marriage and sometimes that can bring out some pretty ugly stuff.  Keep in mind as well that you married them for the better and the worse.  Maybe this is the worse.  Either way, I wouldn't abandon your marriage and your vows but would speak to your spouse about the issue and possibly some professional help.

 

God bless and have a great rest of the week.